StephanoxMr Chair M-preg
by for.every.yaoilover
Summary: Piggeh decides that Stephano and Mr. Chair need a baby. And all goes well until Gonzales shows up. Family drama!
1. Chapter 1

Mr. Chair felt like passing out. It was like in those movies where the background fades away and you see the person standing there and then little cracks appear. Yeah that was Mr. Chair. He just stood there, staring at one small piece of plastic that would change his life forever.

Mr. Chair POV  
'No, no, no, nononononono! This can't be happening, it's just not possible. I'm a guy...but then again-no! Grrrrr, damn the French really are talented if he can get a guy pregnant. Wait! What am I thinking. ARGH! This just isn't real.' My mind was a blur of "what if's" and "how's" but none of that was helping. It was all just giving me a headache.  
I didn't know if this was a Christmas miracle or a curse.  
'AHA! I know, I've finally gone insane. Yup...uh huh, that's it. I'm crazy.' That made sense right? What do I know, I'm crazy.  
'I need a second opinion.' But I was scared to look at the second one. I wasn't stupid, always buy two, just to be sure. Yup, it was positive too. I'm officially insane.  
"Stephano!" I shouted. Maybe he could understand what the hell was going on.  
"What?"  
"I'm insane," I stated bluntly. Stephano blinked a few times before laughing.  
"No shit. We're all insane to live in this dump."  
"No, I'm really crazy Stephano. I've lost it."  
"And why do you say that?"  
"Because I swear this thing says I'm pregnant." Stephano took the test and looked at for a whole two seconds before smiling.  
"Then you're pregnant. You're pregnant. YOU'RE PREGNANT! AND I'M THE FATHER!" He looked ready to faint.  
"Oh so you see it too? Great we're both insane."  
"Non. Mon amour! Zhis iz magnifique!" Stephano's accent thickened when he got excited. He was definitely excited. He looked like a puppy, with big gold eyes and a the energy practically radiating off of him.  
"A Christmas miracle! Oh mon Dieu! Je vais être un père, et vous êtes la mère. C'est le meilleur cadeau de Noël jamais! Je t'aime." Stephano slipped into French before pulling me to him and kissing me deeply. I squeaked and blushed but kissed back.  
Stephano ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I opened for him.  
'No wonder I got pregnant.' My thoughts cut off when I bumped the bed and was pushed back gently. I lay down on the bed and Stephano crawled on top of me.  
"Nous devons célébrer cette occasion spéciale. Et j'ai l'intention de faire la plupart du temps nous avons laissé avant que nous ne pouvons plus faire l'amour. Joyeux Noël, ma petite femme."  
'Did he just call me his wife?' I thought with a heavy blush. His French alway did this to me. I got an erection just hearing the language. Probably because whenever we had sex the English language flew from his mind. He also slipped into French when he was REALLY angry or REALLY happy.

Piggeh POV  
The moans from Stephano and Mr. Chair's room were increasing in volume. I smirked and slid the empty vial into my pocket.  
"Operation slip a baby-making potion into Mr. Chair's drink: complete success!"

Mr. Chair POV  
Stephano lay down next to me and pulled me into his arms. We were both breathing heavily and panting, but despite that and the sweat clinging to both of us I cuddled closer.  
"Bonne nuit, mon petit chaton."  
"Good night, Stephano."

Translations:

Oh my God! I'm going to be a father, and you're the mother. This is the best Christmas present ever! I love you.

Oh mon Dieu! Je vais être un père, et vous êtes la mère. C'est le meilleur cadeau de Noël jamais! Je t'aime

We must celebrate this special occasion. And I intend to make the most of the time we have left before we can no longer make love. Merry Christmas, my little wife.

Nous devons célébrer cette occasion spéciale. Et j'ai l'intention de faire la plupart du temps nous avons laissé avant que nous ne pouvons plus faire l'amour. Joyeux Noël, ma petite femme.

Good night, my little kitten.

Bonne nuit, mon petit chaton.


	2. Chapter 2

Stephano had been pacing the floor for almost two hours now, but he wasn't nervous. He was Stephano, always calm and cool. Except for right now because Mr. Chair was in labor. He had no idea how this was going to happen but he figured Martin and Jennifer knew what they were doing...hopefully.  
Piggeh and some others were currently doing their best to keep the bros and barrels away. Stephano almost wished he was with them, it would give him something to do.  
"Vous avez l'air nerveux, frère."  
"What do you want Gonzales?" Stephano snapped.  
"Hey, Mr. Chair forgave and forgot, so move on. I thought I would help."  
"I don't need YOUR help," Stephano spat.  
"Vous êtes vraiment froid cœur et stupide," Gonzales chuckled.  
"Do you really trust Piggeh, a mini Chair, and Pewdie to keep away the bro's, barrels untrusted sta-"  
"Alright I get it. Fine. But don't do anything stupid." Gonzales waved him off with a laugh and walked away to find Pewdie, who was probably hiding in a closet terrified.  
"Il me pisse vraiment."

Finally, after three hours of absolute madness (no pun intended) the door to Mr. Chair's room opened.  
"Finally!" Stephano sighed. He walked (very quickly) over to the door and peered inside. Mr. Chair was on the bed looking exhausted but otherwise fine. It ws the small bundle in his arms that caught Stephano's attention. He nervously shuffled over to the bed.  
"How are you feeling."  
"Tired. I'm only going to say this once, never again. I am never having a baby again, so be happy with this one. Got it statue?" Mr. Chair teased. Well mostly, being pregnant was horrible but it was nothing compared to birth. But holding his child in his arms he couldn't quite bring himself to care, that and he was exhausted.  
"It's a healthy baby girl," Martin stated. before shooing Jennifer out. Her yaoifangirl side had died and gone to Mpreg heaven and she was gushing all over the floor.  
Stephano sat on the bed beside Mr. Chair and carefully moved the blanket so they could see her face. She had Mr. Chair's brown hair and cute little mouth. But she looked a lot like Stephano in build. Her skin wasn't totally golden but definitely had a tan to it.  
"Elle est parfaite."

(Stephano's mind went into proud father mode. This is one of those times where he's so happy/excited he forgets English).  
The others were back now and were fighting each other to get a look in the room. Stephano sat up straighter and puffed out his chest. Mr. Chair laughed, although it sounded tired, and invited them all in.  
"Awwww, she's like totally adorable!" Piggeh squealed.  
"congratulations, bro!" Pewds cheered. The others all agreed and made comments.  
"What's her name?" Jennifer asked.  
Stephano and Mr. Chair had decided if it was a girl Stephano named it and if it was a boy Mr. Chair named it. Mr. Chair looked at Stephano expectantly.  
"Angelique. It means angelic."  
Mr. Chair noticed Gonzales leaning against the far wall by the door.  
"Come say hello to your niece." Gonzales froze. He seemed kinda hesitant. He and his brother may fight a lot but that didn't mean he didn't care. He didn't want to ruin the moment by intruding. He really wished he and his twin could get along.  
He never meant to tell any of that to Mr. Chair. He sure as hell didn't mean to break down and tell him why he fought with his brother, why he did what he did to Mr. Chair. So how did it happen? He went to apologize, knowing his brother wouldn't give a shit he went to Mr. Chair. Once he convinced Mr. Chair he wasn't going to do anything they sat in the library and he apologized. Then Mr. Chair asked why.  
He couldn't look Mr. Chair in the eye and tell him totally made up BS about he and his brother just having a small sibling rivalry. So it all wound up spilling out. And despite Mr. Chair's attempts to get Stephano to quit being a hot head and spend time with his brother without starting a fight they still weren't on good terms.  
Gonzales looked at his brother shyly. Stephano stance went from being proud and happy to defensive. Gonzales'shoulders slumped.  
"I'm fine over here." Mr. Chair wasn't going to have this.  
"Excuse, could you all give us a moment," heasked sweetly but what he was really saying was, 'Get the hell out before I go off on my stupid French lover and his stubborn brother'. Everyone cleared out quickly.  
The minute the door was closed Mr. Chair elbowed Stephano, hard,  
"OW! C'était quoi ça?!"  
Mr. Chair had learned enough French to know how to argue with Stephano.  
"Pour être un âne têtu. C'est ton frère!" The language rolled off the Brit's tongue with surprising ease. Gonzales snickered, he never thought he'd hear the day when Mr. Chair swore, he never expected it to be in French. Stephano shot him a glare but upon receiving a smack to the back of the head returned his attention to Mr. Chair.  
"Je suis fatigué de vous deux combats. Je refuse d'exposer pauvre Angélique non plus. Gonzales a essayé de passer du temps avec vous, mais vous n'aurez même pas tenter de se comporter civilement. Soit vous apprenez à vous entendre avec votre frère ou je ne parle pas de vous jusqu'à ce que vous faites!" Mr. Chair let out a deep breath. That was the most he'd ever said in French.  
Stephano looked shell shocked and so did Gonzales. This had definately ruined the moment. He shouldn't have come here.  
Stephano gulped and looked at his brother, who was staring sheepishly at the floor. He looked like a kicked puppy ready to bolt out the door at any moment. Stephano felt a slight pang of guilt. He had been kind of a dick to his brother...okay a big dick.  
He shuffled over and hesitated at Gonzales' side.  
"Je suis désolé d'avoir gâché le moment. Je partirai." Stephano made up his mind and reached over and hugged his brother.  
"Non, tu es mon frère et moi que vous voulez ici."  
Gonzlaes looked absolutely shocked, his eyes were wide and but they looked more scared than happy. Like he was afraid it was a joke and that Stephano would kick him out of the room at any minute.  
"Je suis désolé, je suis un imbécile pour vous." Gonzales hugged his brother back.  
"Je vous pardonne, et je n'étais pas le plus sympathique soit." Gonzales and Stephano both walked over to the bed where Mr. Chair was smiling at them.  
Stephano got an idea and gently took his daughter from his lover.  
"Would you like to hold her?" Gonzaled nearly fainted form shock. He didn't trust his voice so he just nodded. Stephano handed his twin Angelique and smiled at how his brother's eyes turned soft and parental.  
Little Angelique yawned and her little eyes opened. It was a mircale she hadn't woken up in all the chaos before. Gonzales, Mr. Chair, and Stephano gasped. Two golden eyes stared curiously up at Gonzales. Gonzales smiled and ran a finger down the little girls cheek.  
"Ow. Hey easy on the grip." All three laughed as Angelique completely ignored her uncles request and beagn sucking on his finger.

Translations  
Vous avez l'air nerveux, frère- You look nervous, brother.  
Vous êtes vraiment froid cœur et stupide- You really are cold hearted and stupid.  
Il me pisse vraiment- He pisses me off.  
Elle est parfaite- She's perfect.  
C'était quoi ça- What the hell was that for?!  
Pour être un âne têtu. C'est ton frère!- For being a stubborn ass. He's your brother!  
Je suis fatigué de vous deux combats. Je refuse d'exposer pauvre Angélique non plus. Gonzales a essayé de passer du temps avec vous, mais vous n'aurez même pas tenter de se comporter civilement. Soit vous apprenez à vous entendre avec votre frère ou je ne parle pas de vous jusqu'à ce que vous faites!-  
I'm getting tired of you two fighting. I refuse to expose poor Angelique to it either. Gonzales has tried to spend time with you but you won't even attempt to behave civilly. Either you learn to get along with your brother or I'm not talking at you until you do!  
Je suis désolé d'avoir gâché le moment. Je partirai.- I'm sorry I ruined the moment. I'll leave.  
Non, tu es mon frère et moi que vous voulez ici.- No, you're my brother and I want you here.  
Je suis désolé, je suis un imbécile pour vous- I'm sorry I was a jerk to you.  
Je vous pardonne, et je n'étais pas le plus sympathique soit- I forgive you, I wasn't the friendlieast either.


End file.
